Derek has a new calling

Derek would kill me if he knew I was posting this on my blog......but I can't resist. Our older dog Wiley has been having some issues with bladder control. Apparently this is typical in older spayed females. The vet asked me to collect a "first in the morning" urine sample from the dog. Derek and I pondered how we were going to get a dog to pee in a cup. I through up my hands and said "this sounds like an impossible task." However Derek persevered. He got up at 3:30 AM last night and shut Wiley in the house. At 8:00 this morning he came in and woke me up and said I need your help. He had rigged a plastic tupper wear bowl with a pair of "grabbers" he uses with the fish tank (see picture above). He told me to put the leash on Wiley and take her out front to a common grass area across the street. He then told me to walk her along the grass and when she squats to pee he will put his device under her bum and catch the stream. The first try he only got a little bit because Wiley stopped peeing when she felt a tupper wear container being shoved under her bum. At this point we were both laughing at how strange this must look to the neighbors...Derek running behind the dog and shoving a bowl under the her bum when she squatted. The third try we had success!! A tupper wear bowl full of warm dog pee. I couldn't stop laughing and told Derek if he ever looses his job he can become a dog urine collector.

Ahhhhh the smell of horses!!

Yesterday I drove out to see my horses. This is the first time I was able to drive out there by myself. My mare Monique was so happy to see me. I fed her carrots, brushed her and let her out in a big arena to run, buck and have a nice roll in the dust. My little stallion Capote had hurt is leg so he has been confined to his stall for the last week. He was so agitated and full of energy that he could barely contain himself to take a carrot and have his nose scratched. Capote doesn't know me as his "Mom" because I purchased him right before I got sick and he has bonded with Marion my trainer and friend. Above I have posted a picture of Marion riding Capote. He is like riding a fancy sports car.

No Pain

A lot of people have been asking about my pain level. I went to a pain specialist last week and it was very worthwhile. I had been taking primarily vicodeine but was limiting myself to 6 pills per day because of the liver damage that can be caused by the acetaminophen part of vicodeine. My oncologist had prescribed as much morphine as I wanted but it didn't seem to have any effect on my pain receptors. The result was I was in pain most of the time. This doctor prescribed a form of vicodeine that had 2x the amount of codeine and 1/2 the amount of acetaminophen. He also gave me a prescription for Lyrica. This is a fairly new Pfizer drug that is non narcotic and works for nerve pain. It takes a several day to take effect. The result has been NO PAIN!! It is so wonderful to be pain free for the first time in 7 months. I expressed my concern to the Pain Specialist about getting hooked on these drugs. He explained there is a difference between drug dependency and addiction. He says that I will get dependent upon these drugs (biochemically speaking) and may require a higher dosage to get the same effect. He says that I will have to work with him to slowly wean myself off of them when I am completely healed. Addiction is when a patient starts taking these drugs to get high not just to alleviate pain. He said the patient then starts lying to the physician to get more drugs and then tries to gets drugs from multiple doctors. I had never thought about the distinction between dependency and addiction. I always thought they were one and the same.

Technology is Great!

I talked to Amy today via Skype. This is wonderful technology. We talk with each other via our respective computers. It sounded like Amy was in the next room. The line dropped a couple of times but I simply pressed the phone Icon on the Skype site and was able to reconnect right away. She has started her own blog:http://amy-underthecorcianosun.blogspot.com/ where she has already posted some pictures. A HUGE thank you to Derek for putting together a small laptop for Amy and putting Skype on our respective computers and getting everything to work. Believe me when I tell you I was not the most patient person for him to work with. At one point, he went up stairs and told me he was refusing to work with me until I calmed down. Then he asks me "Are you sure you are still taking your Lexapro?". ARGH......
Well, I feel much better knowing that Amy is safe, happy and looking forward to her Italian Adventure.

Being a Mom

My daughter Amy left on Sunday to go to Italy for 2 months to study landscape painting. I am so happy she has this great opportunity. However the Mom in me has been worrying constantly. I will list my worries: Will her plane crash? will she be in a car accident? will she be abducted by terrorists? will she fall in love with an Italian and never come home....etc etc. OK, I admit these sound crazy...but any of you who are Moms and Dads will understand. I think the most worrisome part is knowing that if something happened to her I am too sick to come rescue her. I used to think you would stop worrying about your children once they were grown and gone from home.....boy was I wrong on that one. Amy sent me an email on Monday evening letting me know that she arrived safe and sound in Corciano. She says the place is lovely. She told me the town is so small that you can walk from one end to the other. She will be sending some pictures soon. I don't have any recent pictures of Amy alone....so I posted one taken of Amy and Rich and their significant others Ray and Ally. I had know idea where Corciano is. Above is google map. Technology is great!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

I am so thankful to still have my Dad. I lost my Mom very unexpectedly seven years ago. The shock of that loss woke me up to the fact that life is precious and can be taken away at any time. My Dad has been there for me during this very difficult time in my life. He sent me cards everyday for the first few months. They were hand written with his words of encouragement. He has called me every day during my illness. Some days I was too sick to talk. I could only say “I love you” and hang up. Even though this is a Father’s Day missive, I have to mention my Step Mom Barbara. She has also been there for me. When they came to take care of me, she cooked me the most delicious food. She even peeled my tomatoes because the tomato skin would block my ostomy. I am so lucky to have them both and can’t wait to see them in person soon. I have posted a very cute picture I took last Oct. when we all went on a very fun trip to the 4 corners region.

Rant about my Surgeon

I had not heard from my surgeon on the results of my CT scan that he had ordered last week. This wasn't a problem for me because I saw my radiation oncologist on Monday and he said everything looked great and seemed to be healing well. He also complimented me on my decision to avoid surgery.
I logged into email today and had a letter from my surgeon on the results. He is such a "glass half empty" kind of guy. He paints everything in the worst light. I dread talking to this guy about any results. I always feel like crying after I talk with him. I am probably being overly sensitive as today has not been the best day. I did a little too much the last few days and am now paying the price. This guy needs to get some training on how to deliver information in a more positive light.....OK I am done now. I am going to take an Percoset and not think about him.

Lunch with Deb

Today I felt well enough to have lunch with my friend Debbie. Deb and I have known each other since the early days of SciTegic (over 6 years ago). Deb never fails to make me laugh and has a wonderful irreverent sense of humor. We ate lunch at the Grand Cafe in Escondido. I ate appetizer, entree and dessert while Deb nursed a very small and healthy salad. The food tasted wonderful and the company was very great. I know that I am turning a corner because food is starting to taste good and I look forward to my meals. I have attached a picture that our server took today.

Results of CT Scan

When you are diagnosed with cancer, typically you see three types of doctors; a surgeon, an oncologist and a radiation oncologist. My radiation oncologist is Dr. Hodgins and he was responsible for planning and executing my radiation treatment. The last time I had seen him was in late January when I was finishing up my treatment. He called me last week and wanted me to come in to see him since it had been awhile.
I told him that I had a CT scan last Thu but had not yet heard from my surgeon who had ordered the test. He was able to go on line and pull up the scan. The scan showed really good results. There were no masses, edema or swelling in my pelvis other than the original tumor which is now about 1.5 cm in size (originally it was over 6 cm in size). A CT scan will show the tumor mass but will not show metabolic activity. Metabolic activity indicates if the tumor is alive or dead. A PET scan will show tumor mass and metabolic activity but because of the amount of whole body radiation involved they don't want to do those very often. I am scheduled to have a PET at the end of July. He told me that what may happen is that in July when I have the PET scan it may show that there is a small mass still there but the mass is dead (no metabolic activity). He said if that is the case he would recommend that I not have the surgery to remove my anus and rectum. He said that he has most likely done so much damage to my anus and rectum with the radiation that it will not be able to function normally. That means that I would have the ileostomy for the rest of my life. He said the surgery to remove the anus and rectum is quite painful difficult with lots of side effects (Derek had read that it has a 5% mortality rate) and that I should avoid it if possible.
I guess I had thought that the tumor was either there or not. I never considered the possibility that it could still be there but dead. Wow....there is so much information to absorb. I feel like Derek and I will experts when this is all over.

CT Scan today

My surgeon decided that I needed to have a CT scan. I saw him last week and he tried to examine me by putting a scope up my butt but it was too painful to endure. He needed a scan to make sure that there wasn't anything bad going on down there.

I was not allowed to eat anything since last night and checked into the imaging center at 12:00 PM this afternoon. The male nurse that administered the IV was very rough and I didn't like him. There are very few male nurses that I like. I much prefer to be taken care of by women. In addition to the contrast via IV...I had to have contrast agent pumped into my rectum (YUCK)!!! I said I didn't want the male nurse to do it because he was too rough. So a nice empathetic female technician did it. I won't go into detail but I don't have to tell you that it was unpleasant to say the least. It is hard to maintain your dignity with a hose up your butt. The surgeon should call me tomorrow with results. For some reason, I am not worried. I think everything is fine.