Tired, Tired, Tired

I have been having a very tired last few days. Today it was hard to get out of bed and I was out of breath walking up my stairs. I have slept for 12 hours straight and then felt the need to nap during the day. It is weird in that I will go through several days where I feel quite good and have lots of energy. I walk the dogs, clean up the house and do the shopping. Then I will be rendered incapacitated for several days. The problem is when I have the good days, I think "Great I am better at last"! Then I am disappointed to feel quite sick again. My doctor had told me that it will take a least a year to feel half way back to normal. I keep thinking "well that's for other people"...."I can get better much faster then the doctors think". I don't want to believe it but perhaps in this case the doctors are right. Some of my doctors don't think I will ever have the stamina and physical capabilities I once had. All I can say is "Thank God for Lexapro which keeps me on an even keel mentally" I saw my pain doctor today. Derek wanted me to try and get off the pain drugs. The doctor said he wouldn't recommend it right now. He said I should wait until I have had even more time to heal. He says I may always need to take some sort of pain medication because of the damage that was done by the radiation. I hope he is wrong as I would like to get my mental acuity back at some point.